For a first blog, I thought I’d share my feelings on my current situation of being unemployed. Some of you might not know the feeling, some of you might know it all too well.
When you’re a kid in elementary/high school, you purely enjoy the time spent coming up with schemes to fool your parents into thinking you’re too damn ill to go to school. The awesome feeling of knowing they bought it, and that once they’re gone you have the whole house to yourself to do whatever you like, whilst your friends are all at school doing boring shit. I wasn’t ever the kind of kid to do it on a regular basis, but I did have my fair share of truancy days playing Tony Hawks Underground and Canis Canem Edit until my parents came home to find me wrapped up in bed once again.
Adult life can be annoying and stressful. The lack of free time, the lack of enjoyment you had as a kid. You don’t seem to realise that your life sort of went by a bit too fast, and that you chose to ignore how blissful it was to have nothing holding you down. No payments, no work deadlines, nothing. I remember the day I sat at my desk in my old job, thinking about how sweet it would be to have that time back. I could stay home, live off my savings and do whatever I please. Late last year I got to do just that, since my employer was making redundancies all across the company. He left me and a bunch of my work friends with a decent severance package and I was thereby unemployed.
Thing is, you don’t realise how different two similar times of your life can be. Sure, I can sit at home, eat junk food and play Call of Duty till the cows come home. I don’t have to fake being ill every day because I had that luxury of living off my savings in my parents home. I get to wake up every day knowing I didn’t have to do jack shit. But after a few months of relaxing and doing what I hoped to do with my free time, the enjoyment wore off. I began realising the position I was in. I had been unemployed for 4 months, living each care-free day through my hard-earned savings, without a single penny going into that account. I still paid my share of rent, but soon enough the money would dwindle down to nothing. It was a realisation that I can’t have that excitement I had as a kid anymore. I no longer found it fun to have no schedule. I didn’t like wasting my day in my room watching a TV screen for hours on end.
So I’ve been searching non-stop since then. It’s been six months, and I’ve yet to land myself a new job. I’ve spent two months combing through online recruitment websites trying to find a job that will give me my next opportunity. To date, I can safely say I have sent 50+ applications to employers, and was met with a regular wave of rejections from the majority. Thankfully, I’ve recently landed a couple of interviews that I hope will go well, but they only make me want a job even more. I’ve started going to the gym again, which gives me something to look forward to and work towards.
I’m sick of being unemployed. I’m sick of waking up every morning thinking I have something to go to, when it turns out I don’t. I’m sick of watching my friends be successful while my greatest achievement recently has been updating my Spotify playlists to a decent order. The thing I want to put out there is that unemployment is not as relaxing as some people make it out to be. You can watch The Jeremy Kyle Show and see the results of people not giving a shit about their future and living each day like it’s skipping school. But someday, you realise that life really isn’t that care-free anymore and you have to get back on track.
Do I want to work again? Absolutely. Would I go back in time and stop myself from becoming unemployed? Not at all.
It’s given me the opportunity to see how depressed I can get from having nothing to strive towards. I’ve come to the realisation that work isn’t a burden. It’s an escape from a very boring and self-loathing lifestyle.