Fuck fairness, it doesn’t exist. (Journal Entry #3)

For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to grab myself a couple of job interviews, and it’s ended with either rejections or no response whatsoever. Thankfully, I bagged myself two interviews for this week and was hoping on a third being made with a recruitment company I was using. It doesn’t look like it’s the case anymore though since they take their time in getting back to me.

I’ve just heard through the grapevine (aka Facebook Messenger) that two of my former colleagues got the job positions that were offered by the company, even after I sent in my application a few mere days after them. This was around two weeks ago, and they’ve already had interviews and been successful. With me? Not a word. The only shred of hope I had was the recruitment company confirming they are waiting for feedback. But now they’ve taken on those two people and haven’t given me a single chance at all is appalling.

I do blame the company, but I also blame one of those colleagues for pushing me to apply, with I did straight away. Little did I know he already told his other workmate to apply first and low and behold they both get that job. Why? Because they are employed still, and I’m not. But why was I made redundant? Why didn’t I get to stay on with the company when there was another person in my team who wasn’t as skilled as me (that’s true by the way, I had more experience but my age didn’t land me the leadership job)? Because she was pregnant, and that’s a big no-no to let someone go while pregnant. So why not fire the guy who impressed the company consistently and worked a whole lot harder than she did? That’s exactly what they did, and now I’m paying the fucking price for it.

Hell, I’m even better than the workmate my colleague recommended to apply, but because she’s got family issues where she is the only one making money and she’s STILL got her job, I was the one taking the damage. They didn’t give a shit about me, and it’s fucking painful to still have to go through this. Why not employ the person who has no commitments, the guy who actually NEEDS this role? The guy with NO income, with NO career path right now?

Just to make things worse, I immediately went looking for more jobs to apply for, and saw that one role that I’m being interviewed for is now back on the market. They are supposed to be expiring the role once they have applicants, but no, they’re still not done finding people. I guess my credentials aren’t as wanted as I thought they were. I did have a job interview yesterday though at a decent company, but I muddled up a few answers and in the end they didn’t seem amazingly interested. I wouldn’t be surprised if I didn’t get that job.

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